I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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