My brain says no but my pants say off.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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