i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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