Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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