Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
