Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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