I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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