Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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