he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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