We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
