He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
