Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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