were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
