I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
