We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
