life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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