there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
