TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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