WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
