he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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