Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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