Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
