I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
