His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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