Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
