Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
