My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
