You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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