remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
