Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
