College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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