dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
