I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
