I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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