It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
