Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
