Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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