We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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