Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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