it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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