She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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