Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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