I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
