John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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