when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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