i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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