Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
