no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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