there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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