I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
