I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
