What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
