the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
