I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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