Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
