ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
