This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
