You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
