Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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