You can't special order awesome
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He better not be in your backpack
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
