dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
