my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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