It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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