and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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